Fear of Failing

“I am afraid to fail” or” I failed” are words we often hear in CrossFit. The fear of failing can significantly affect your journey to get stronger, fitter and healthier. Often, this fear is not specific to a certain situation but a recurring theme in a person’s life. Fear can affect daily functioning as well as physical and mental health.

In this article we dive into the fear of failing and we discuss ways to deal with it. We present a practical solution including an assignment, to deal with the fear of failing for example during a CrossFit workout.

CrossFit: The pressure is on

CrossFit is a competitive sport. It is all about you against you, the heavy barbell, the high box, or other athletes. CrossFit is challenging and CrossFit coaches demand 100% effort every single workout. Because that is what makes you better. The purpose of CrossFit is to reveal weaknesseses. Because only by confronting them, the athlete can improve and become a better and more balanced athlete. CrossFit is also centered around the development of physical and mental strength and well-being. The fear of failing is common, but can hinder the development of the athlete.

Let’s fail today!

“I am afraid to fail” or” I failed” are words we often hear in CrossFit. Sometimes these words are just thoughts, and sometimes these words are spoken out loud spreading the ‘fear- vibe’ among other athletes.

Hardly anyone ever says: I’m going to fail this one, and I like it! Or: Awesome, let’s go for the fail today! When actually these words could be very helpful in the development of the athlete.

If failing in the sense of trying something and not immediately getting it or wanting it to be 100% perfect, is not a big issue to you, and if you are able to approach a situation as an opportunity to practice something, chances are you’re approaching the situation with more confidence, less doubt, less anxiety, less fear and more fun. This positive approach and this (growth) mindset focused on the process of practice and training, increase the chance of positive outcomes.

But if you are afraid to fail or to do things not- picture perfect from the very first start, you’re probably going to avoid certain situations or you’re going to try, yet with zero confidence and lots of anxiety, increasing the risk of a self-fulfilling prophecy. With a negative doubtful approach and a (fixed) mindset solely focused on the outcome (the end result), fear and failure are created. Our worst fear lies in anticipation.

‍Fear

Types of fear

The estimated number of (adult) people struggling with the fear of failing, also known as atychiphobia, is around ten percent. There are three types of fear of failure[i]:

1. Cognitive fear of failure, in which a person is afraid their knowledge level is insufficient

2. Social fear of failure, in which a person is afraid of criticism by others

3. Motor fear of failure, in which a person is afraid of physical performance

In CrossFit, all situations can be present: Not being familiar with a movement; concerns about what others think; or fear of performing a movement.

Perceptions

Fear is how we perceive our sense of impotence against what we consider a threat. Fear involves a combination of subjective incompetence (I am not able to do this), hopelessness (there is nothing I can do about this), helplessness (no one can help me), and catastrophizing (failure is heading my way). [ii]

People with a fear of failing perceive a situation as more threatening. To them, there are five possible consequences likely to happen when they fail[iii]:

1. Experiencing shame and embarrassment

2. Re-evaluating self-image

3. An uncertain future

4. Loss of interest by others

5. Making others angry

Consequences

In some cases, fear is accompanied by a misperception of the risk of a situation. Perceiving the encounter with a highly venomous snake as a risky situation is appropriate and fearful to most people, but perceiving a jump on a plyo box as a very risky situation is not. Misperception of a situation due to fear, can affect a person’s decision making. For example, out of fear people can choose to stop exercising or to stop joining social events: Decisions that can negatively affect physical and mental health.[iv]

Fear of failing can have a severe impact on a person’s daily functioning: Being afraid to perform daily tasks; having difficulty interacting with others; and having ongoing feelings of anger, irritation, fear or sadness. Fear of failing can cause panic attacks and can lead to physical, emotional and psychological problems. It can lead to chronic stress associated with weakening of the immune system, increased cardiovascular damage, increased risk of chronic diseases, gastrointestinal problems, brain damage, chronic fatigue, and even premature death. [v]

Causes

Some people experience more fear of failing than others, among who people with a higher score on the personality trait neuroticism. They are more emotionally unstable and experience more negative stress and worries. They are more susceptible to anxiety disorders and depression, are often very perfectionistic and afraid of making mistakes.

Neuroticismis hereditary, but the extent to which it reveals itself depends on the environment the person is in, and past experiences the person has had. For example, having a very stressful job or a strict childhood with demanding parents can trigger neuroticism. Other possible causes of atychophibia are hereditary mental disorders, traumatic experiences, low self esteem, lack of self-confidence, or learned behavior such as having grown up in an environment where failure was not done.[vi]

The fear of failing is not always a bad thing. Avoiding dangerous situations for example can sometimes be very wise. And striving for perfection can take a person very far in their career. If a little fear is appropriate for the situation and, gives the person an adrenaline kick and extra mental focus to perform, then fear can be helpful. But when fear leads to bothering situations, it is clearly not helpful.

Dealing with Fear

The easy way out

Our brain forms narratives, mental pictures, in relation to how we view ourselves, to our self- image and our confidence. These narratives are aimed at preserving consistency of our thoughts, feelings and behavior. Regarding fear, our mental picture is built by the thing itself (the plyo box); our thoughts about the thing (a scary object); the feeling triggered by the thing (fear and anxiety); and the memory of the thing (seeing another athlete rip their shins jumping on the box). [vii]

Our body and mind are directed to preserving our self-image, and not letting it be disrupted by fear.[viii] One way of dealing with fear of failing is to avoid the situation, or to work harder to avoid the risk of failing and preserve our self- image. Both might seem easy, but are not:

Avoiding means the person will probably be confronted with similar situations in the future, simply because they take themselves and their fears into each new situation. The person has not learned how to deal with difficulties, and the same pattern keeps repeating itself.

Working harder means the person is not changing their perspective of the situation, on how they should behave in that situation, or on how to set realistic standards to meet. Chances are it is never good enough because there will always be something more that could have been done or someone else doing better. Working harder does not change the situation. In only increases the risk of a burn-out.

A practical solution

People with a fear of failing perceive a situation as more threatening. Their perception does not necessarily match reality. How we perceive a situation with our thought determines our behavior in that situation. And our behavior in that situation effects our future thought and feelings in similar situations. This can work as a spiral in both directions: downward and upward.

Downward spiral

Example of a workout with 100 box jumps.

Thoughts about this situation could be: “I am very scared of box jumps. I am such a loser for not being able to do this.” These thoughts are accompanied by feelings such as stress, anxiety and sadness. Attempting this workout with these thoughts and feelings will probably lead to half- hearted efforts to do a box jumps with less focus on technique, increasing the risk of an unpleasant experience. The self-fulfilling prophecy. This experience can set the tone for upcoming workouts, and create a negative vicious circle. Eventually this can lead to the decision to stop working out at all.

Upward spiral

Example of a workout with 100 box jumps.

Thoughts about this situation could be: “I am very scared of box jumps. I don’t really like myself for thinking this way, but I am going to try to approach this workout as an opportunity to practice my box jumps.” These thoughts are accompanied by mixed feelings: On the one hand anxiety and sadness, on the other hand feelings of being in control, excitement, pride and confidence. Attempting this workout with these thoughts and feelings will probably lead to serious efforts with dedicated focus, increasing the chance of a positive empowering experience. This experience can set the tone for upcoming workouts, and create an upward spiral of motivation.

Change thought and behavior, and deal with feelings

Changing the direction of the spiral from downwards to upwards requires changing thoughts and behavior, and dealing with feelings.

Thought, behavior and feelings are linked together. Compared to feelings, thought and behavior are easier to change. Feelings cannot be ignored, but how we deal with them is a choice. We can change our thoughts and behavior, and eventually this will lead to a different kind of feelings. Changing feelings by itself is much more difficult and takes much more time. If you wait until you feel like doing something very scary, you can probably wait forever. When you act first, get yourself going, you will eventually begin to feel better. Therefor, dealing with the fear of failing starts with changing thoughts and behavior in fearful situations. Over time, feelings will follow new thoughts and behavior. During this process of change, we need to learn how to deal with disturbing feelings, because they are simply part of life.

‍Step 1: Change your thoughts

Thoughts are your inner voice, your self- talk. In situations we perceive as fearful, this self- talk is often not helpful. The first step in dealing with the fear of failing is to get a clear view of your not- helpful self-talk and then changing it to more helpful self- talk.

In this article we give you an assignment with 5 questions. It is very important to write down all the answers on a piece of paper. This makes is more explicit, which helps the learning process. Also, the brain processes hand-written messages better than digitally produced messages.

Question 1: What is your most common unhelpful self- talk?

Four types of unhelpful self- talk are most common:

1. Worry: I am not strong enough

2. Self- doubt: I suck at this and will never make the time cap

3. Frustration: I hate this!

4. Comparison: Why is he better at this?

Question 2: What is going to be your new helpful self- talk?

Four types of helpful self- talk are most common:

1. Calming: Stay calm, don’t freak out

2. Instructional: Punch hard

3. Motivational: I know I can do this

4. Focus on the present: One step, right here right now

Step 2: Change your behavior

Behavior reflects thoughts. When we think of failure, we exhibit corresponding behavior such as worrying facial expressions, crouched body posture, or physically stepping away. Fear is often accompanied by physical reactions such as sweating, shivering, nausea or stiffness, Unhelpful self- talk is accompanied by unhelpful behavior. Helpful self- talk is accompanied by helpful behavior: Strong body language. For example: hold your head up high or put on a big smile.

Question 3: What strong body language supports your new helpful self-talk?‍

Step 3: Deal with feelings

Feelings and emotions are not a choice. How you deal with them and react to them, is a choice. One important aspect of dealing with fear is to have the ability to “ignore” certain feelings such as discomfort or anxiety. Not by shutting yourself off from these feelings, but by allowing them to be there as a natural part of the situation, and as part of a bigger picture: Besides those disturbing feelings, there is also room for other feelings, thoughts and behavior. Just like that annoying friend at a party: there is more to the party than just that friend!

Examples of practical ways to deal with disturbing feelings:

- Focus on breathing and visualize breathing out all the disturbing feelings

- Imagine your disturbing feelings as that friend at the party: It is ok he is there too

- Reminder yourself: You are in control of your thoughts, behavior and feelings

- Be a Cesar Milan: Snap yourself out of the situation and stop your worrying thoughts, for example by pinching your arm

- Say your helpful self- talk out loud

- Remind yourself why being in the fearful situation is important to you

- Treat yourself like a scared child: It is ok to feel this way, you can do this, so now go do it!

‍Question 4: How are you going to ignore disturbing feelings in a fearful situation?‍

Step 4: Daily reminders

Behavioral change takes on average three months of hard work and consciously making changes, followed by lifetime maintenance. Practice with helpful self- talk, strong body language and ways to deal with disturbing feelings might feel like something artificial or fake. Practice it over and over again and it can become second nature. What gets attention will grow. But if you stop paying attention, you will loose you abilities.

Daily reminders are a crucial part of behavioral change. Such as a picture that reminds you of your motivation to change. Or a helpful object you can take with you to situations you consider fearful, such as an elastic bracelet that helps you to tap yourself out of overwhelming feelings (the Cesar Milan trick).

If you think you're just going to do it, forget about it, it is not going to happen. Because once you’re in a fearful situation, you cannot think straight anymore. You need to train yourself and have a plan. Just like military staff is trained to deal with alarming and threatening situations. They know exactly what to do and when to do it. They are trained over and over again, they do not have to overthink the situation or reconsider their actions. And that leaves no room for unhelpful thoughts, old behavior or overwhelming feelings. By training yourself and having a plan, you are practicing the upward spiral. This will lead to positive empowering experiences and will set the tone for upcoming situations.

‍Question 5: How are you going to remind youself every day and in every fearful situation of your journey? ‍

Tip for coaches

Research shows that coach- autonomy- support is associated with reduced fear of failing. When the autonomy of the athlete is encouraged and supported by the coach, the athlete experiences less fear. Words like: “Just give it a try. You are in control. Your effort counts, the outcome is irrelevant.” can be powerful positive words in encouraging athletes. Also, actions that stimulate the athlete to figure things out on their own and to let them struggle for a while on their own, while watching from the sideline, can by helpful in the development of the athlete to become less fearful and more independant. Coaches need to realise this coaching style might initially lead to challenges in the interaction with the athlete and their feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. In the longer run, being peristent with this coaching style and not giving into the hopelessness and helplessness of the athlete, can be beneficial in reducing the fear of failing.[ix]

‍References

[i] Psychned.Faalangst. Retrieved via https://www.psyned.nl/angsten/soorten-angst/faalangst/in February 2024.; Psycholoog. Faalangst. Retrieved via https://psycholoog.nl/klachten/angst/faalangst/in February 2024.

[ii] Ropeik D. The consequences of fear. EMBO Rep. 2004 Oct;5 SpecNo(Suppl 1):S56-60. doi: 10.1038/sj.embor.7400228. PMID: 15459737; PMCID:PMC1299209.

[iii] Psychned.Faalangst. Retrieved via https://www.psyned.nl/angsten/soorten-angst/faalangst/in February 2024.; Psycholoog. Faalangst. Retrieved via https://psycholoog.nl/klachten/angst/faalangst/in February 2024.

[iv] Ropeik D. The consequences offear. EMBO Rep. 2004 Oct;5 Spec No(Suppl 1):S56-60. doi:10.1038/sj.embor.7400228. PMID: 15459737; PMCID: PMC1299209.

[v] ClevelandClinic. Atychiphobia. Retrieved via: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22555-atychiphobia-fear-of-failurein February 2024.; Ropeik D. The consequences of fear. EMBO Rep. 2004 Oct;5 Spec No(Suppl 1):S56-60. doi: 10.1038/sj.embor.7400228. PMID: 15459737; PMCID: PMC1299209.; Porcelli P. Fear, Anxiety and Health-Related Consequences After the Covid-19 Epidemic. Clin Neuropsychiatry. 2020 Apr;17(2):103-111. doi: 10.36131/CN20200215. PMID: 34908979; PMCID: PMC8629075.

[vi] ClevelandClinic. Atychiphobia. Retrieved via: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22555-atychiphobia-fear-of-failurein February 2024.; Wij zijn Mind. Faalangst.Retrieved via https://wijzijnmind.nl/psychische-klachten/psychipedia/faalangst in February 2024.

[vii] Ropeik D. The consequences of fear. EMBO Rep. 2004 Oct;5 SpecNo(Suppl 1):S56-60. doi: 10.1038/sj.embor.7400228. PMID: 15459737; PMCID:PMC1299209.

[viii] Ropeik D. The consequences of fear. EMBO Rep. 2004 Oct;5 SpecNo(Suppl 1):S56-60. doi: 10.1038/sj.embor.7400228. PMID: 15459737; PMCID:PMC1299209.

[ix] Moreno-MurciaJA, Huéscar Hernández E, Conte Marín L, Nuñez JL. Coaches' Motivational Styleand Athletes' Fear of Failure. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2019 May4;16(9):1563. doi: 10.3390/ijerph16091563. PMID: 31060220; PMCID: PMC6539593.

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